CHILLS, SWEATS, & NIGHTMARES

July 26, 2015: I had my final central line dressing change this week. Those nurses are amazing. Thank you again ladies for all of the listening you did and all of the support you provided.

Next bit of amazing news: On Wednesday I had my central line removed. It was a long day at the hospital; but, I want to thank all of the care team that worked with me. They were patient, kind and empathetic. It was actually some of THE best care I received at that particular hospital in a long time. I'm a free woman! I cannot wait to start swimming again with Hattie.

Downside: I'm my own worst enemy right now. That's what drug withdrawal does. It pits your brain against you, which is why I think it's so tricky. All your brain says is take the drug. Take the drug. Just take the drug and you'll feel better instantly. The intermittent chills and sweats are unpleasant. I am edgy. It is unlike me and uncomfortable. The worst is the creepy, crawly, twitchy nature of my whole spine. Yuck. Worse are the torturous nightmares. Things that I will not write on this blog because they are so revolting.

Drug withdrawal is unbearable in the moment. However, taking this junk off and on for the last 15 months-being dependent on it's crappy, at best, pain & nausea management-is imprisoning. I hate nothing more than pain and nausea meds' destructive nature. Any person reading this who has either gone thru drug withdrawal, had a drug dependency or had a close friend or family member with an addiction knows exactly how toxic this dependency is. And it's a slippery slope, at best. The withdrawal has consumed me this past week but I feel it is almost over with and I cannot be more relieved.

MOVING ON!!!! Even more exciting things are happening this week. Keep checking the warrior site for more blogs. Only 7 days left of the YouCaring fundraiser and our family cannot thank you enough. You've quite literally changed our lives, thank you. This week I've been out and about and walking and playing more than I have in over a year. We are celebrating and keeping our fingers crossed. Hattie and I have been to the park every day this week and she had a play date on Tuesday! I have gone 8 days with nausea and vomiting! And zero pain. Things are looking up!!!

Kristen